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Sunday, 25 October 2009


  • Moving keeps sounding better and better. The possibilities are endless…sort of. Once we get past those tiny humps of money, transportation, pets, housing, storage, friends and family, we could go anywhere, anywhere at all!

    This much I know: I should be out of my element. But how much so? Should I move to the middle of the desert? Should I hit the ‘burbs? Should I find a shack tucked away somewhere in the majestic, forest-ful, hilly, all natural grandeur of some nook in Montana?

    Or is another major city good enough? New York just seems like it would be all the things I don’t like about this city all concentrated into an over-packed container. There are other east coast cities that intrigue me, but if I’m gonna go somewhere, I would love to get away from brutal winters. Florida is too humid, and then take into account hurricane season…yeah, no thanks.

     

    It would also help to go somewhere where I know people. I know folks in Portland, but from the way people describe it, it sounds like a giant hipster fest. But if it isn’t really that bad, it seems like a place where I would be very comfortable, probably too comfortable. But maybe not.

    I know people in Texas. But I voted for Obama, I don’t like guns, I don’t like war, I don’t like oil,I think gays should be allowed to marry, and I never rode a horse.

     

    I know people in Mississippi. Some of the same issues I just mentioned and I really don’t know that many people there…

    But the south could definitely give me some new experiences and different perspectives.

     

    Oh, and the Midwest. Kenosha was cute. Carlock was endearing. Detroit…I might as well move to a 3rd world country. Of course, I shouldn’t exclude that as an option either. Minneapolis… okay all of the things I don’t like about here that aren’t jam packed into New York, they must get dumped in Minneapolis. Ohio has some nice places, Akron was neat. I probably know more people in Ohio than I even realize.


    I liked what I saw of Colorado. I sorta know a few people there.

     

    California…ah…now that’s what I like to hear.

    LA, San Diego, San Francisco,Santa Barbara, the desert, the mountains, everything else you can imagine...

    And that’s assuming I stay in the states.

     

    Mexico would be wonderful. The UK is intriguing. Canada, eh, it could be alright I suppose.  

     

    Kenosha was cute.

     

    One thing to consider… should this be a time of retreat and spiritual growth, as in a break from active ministry involvement and busy-ness? Or should I be pursuing a place where I can serve in ministry and/or be actively involved in a community? I guess I’ve always assumed the latter would be my reason for going anywhere, but the first sounds enticing. Maybe the two can somehow be merged.

     

Sunday, 04 October 2009

  • On one hand, the recent surge of bloody attacks involving teenagers throughout the city deeply moves me. If anything disgusts me and stirs up a rage within, it would be the complete senselessness of gang violence.

    Clearly something ought to be done. It seems silly to stand by with an opportunity to make a difference just inches away, and the need for this difference screaming out in the background. But will it really make a difference? Am I ready to make a difference? Is this how I should make a difference? This could be a good thing, but it might be distracting  me from something greater.

    I am also reminded that this opportunity will not even really be in effect for at least another year. Kids are killing each other now, and a year from now we will begin to experiment with ways to help them, but I don't even know if I'm completely on board with the vision of those backing this plan.

    And a part of me just doesn't want to. I almost feel like my interest in it is more out of feelings of guilt, obligation and a loyal sympathy for my city rather than a real passion to minister to people and do God's work. I've come to realize that at times I feel as though I lost a piece of my identity when I left behind the old ministry, and this new offer appeals to that part of me, and I may only be interested in it for selfish reasons.

    I could say that I'll consider it when I come back... but when would I come back, and would either the opportunity or my desire to be in it still be around? Would it even matter anymore? If I could only freeze frame everything now, and then return to it all when I feel ready and certain.

Saturday, 03 October 2009

  • un-unChristian

    Within the past few years, books such as Barna's "unChristian" have paved the way for campaigns of critique in the Evangelical Christian world with statistics,studies and calls to reclaim Christianity. Much of this critique seems to point to the idea that Christianity has failed in one way or another, especially when it comes to how we have represented Christ and His message.

    I've noticed that there are still many similar movements popping up, all with the purpose to restore Christianity back to truth, and all attempting to salvage the tarnished, despised image of the Christian Church. Some say we need to offer more love and acceptance. Others say we need better teaching regarding the atonement. Still others insist that we need to become more familiar with the secular world. Church needs to be smaller, Church needs to be called something other than Church, Church shouldn't have sermons...and on goes the list of solutions.

    Book after book, study after study, page after page…all describing the embarrassing reputation we’ve gained in the world around us. Revealing all of the not-so flattering things people think of when they think of Christianity, all of the ways we have been getting it wrong, and how to make it right.

    And I, like many, have read this information and often thought to myself “wow this is messed up. We(Christians)should do something about this.” In fact, if you look throughout my blogs you will definitely see strong influences of this movement (although I must point out I blogged much of that before ever reading any of those studies.)

    Now, I have no problem with the research groups like Barna have done. I think it is extremely important to know what the world around us thinks about Christianity. I also think it is just as important to know what those who consider themselves Christians think about Christianity and the secular world. I also appreciate those who want to approach Christianity with a fresh, bold zeal and spark the Church into radical Christian servitude. But my concern isn’t with the information or it’s presentation, it is more with our reaction to the information.

    Consider this: the Barna-esque movement has also sparked a growing protest against the marketing and commodifying of Christianity and the Gospel. Ironically, the immediate reaction to these studies is a concern that Christianity has a plummeting image, and so we need to improve that image so that more people will be attracted to Christianity.

    In other words,  we have this product called the gospel of Christ, and it has suffered from poor marketing and an unattractive image. We need to find positive ways to market our product so that people will be more willing to buy it.

    So here's what I'm getting at: at what point does this all turn into nothing more than seeking the approval of the world, thus dodging Christ’s promise of persecution, mockery and suffering for the cause of the Gospel? Where can we find the balance between "they will know we are Christians by our love" and "do not be surprised if the world hates you"?

    When the world says we are hateful, we can scramble to find ways to come off as less hateful, or we can take it as a sign that the message of Christ is in fact working powerfully and encountering the natural resistance it should face from an unbelieving world. If the world calls us judgmental, we can shy away from calling sin sin, or we can consider such accusations to be symptomatic of opposition to the Spirit's conviction.

    Has this recent wave of scrutinizing Christianity gone too far? Is the world’s critique of us really an accurate way of determining if we are appropriately carrying out Christ’s mission? Do you think these movements lead to watered-down Christianity, or is Christianity really in need of a revolution?

Tuesday, 15 September 2009

  • Currently
    Chasing the Dragon: One Woman's Struggle Against the Darkness of Hong Kong's Drug Dens
    By Jackie Pullinger; Andrew Quicke
    see related
    I keep feeling like I need to be out of my element for a while. I feel like I need to be stretched, even if just a little, and I don't know if the kind of stretching I need can happen here.

    I love this city. I am proud to live in this city and even prouder to be a native of it. I am not bored of it by any means.There are so many wonderful things here that cannot be experienced anywhere else, and after 28 years there is so much here that I am still unfamiliar with.  I've been challenged, and there are all kinds of new challenges to be faced. There are millions of people I have yet to meet, and entire neighborhoods I have never heard of. As things like gentrification take effect, there are constantly changes that I must adjust to, new things being introduced and replacing what has been common, and everything else being misplaced and displaced. But even when it comes to the unfamiliar, I still have quite an advantage. New experiences, places, and people here always have very familiar overtones. No matter what transformations take place, this is still my city, and there are some core things that will never change, at least not in my lifetime. And even if those things do change, I can always rest assured that not even those changes can be deeper or more profound than my roots. 

     It might do me some good to know what it is like to be the outsider - the transplant I so often complain about. I think it could be a very healthy challenge for me to have my hometown pride rendered useless, to have my native arrogance tucked away, and the confidence of nearly three decades of knowing it all uprooted....even if just for a while.

    But to where, and for what? At this point in life it seems rather silly to just up and move someplace completely new and strange without attempting to meet some specific,practical long term goal, like school or career or something. I'm not afraid of uncertainty, I just wonder if I'm just having immature dreams of adventure and exploration, and if they are too far beyond practical. I have a wife after all, and we want a family some time soon. 

    Plus I have some exciting new opportunities in the making here, pending on my next decision. For me this has been a season of floating uncertainty, and the prospect of  ministering in the communities I deeply care about in a fresh new way seems like it should be a no-brainer. And if I were to take it on, I certainly would want to stick with it for the long haul... moving somewhere else would be out of the question anytime soon.

    In light of that, I don't think I'm done here. But I feel that I can't say that with certainty until I've been somewhere else. And I can't help but think that after living somewhere new and different, if I don't feel I should stay somewhere else, the experience will enrich and strengthen whatever I do here in the future. Bottom line, I need to spend some time experiencing life elsewhere before I'll know the next step or can be effective in the next step.

    It seems to be quite fitting with the pattern in which God has been working in my life(don't get me wrong- I am not suggesting that I know for a minute what God is really up to, I am just observing what seems to be happening). Its as though He may be trying to wean me off of the familiar and comfortable, and maybe moving is the very next step.

    And then I think about how such a decision could effect others. I have a mother here who has no other family at all. I have built irreplaceable relationships of indescribable worth. There are new ministries that are desperately needed here, and people are looking to me to make it happen. Yet I know that this city will not collapse if I leave. I also know God's work will be done, with or without me.

    So I can go see what's out there and tell my home to wait for me, or I can grab hold of what's here and indefinitely set aside any possibilities elsewhere. As it seems now, I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't.

Friday, 07 August 2009

  • The dark streets are overflowing with an indescribable presence of need, an intricate void of hope weaving together a myriad of lifeless lives. I know I am to be a part of those lives, but sometimes all I can do is watch, wait, in hopes of finding someone willing to talk or share a moment in time. Need is clearly present and overwhelming at times, yet often ambiguous.

     I can get carried away in my vague ambition, and I suppose that's how you end up with gashes on your nose.

     I am not invincible, I am only human...I am but only one human. Friendly demeanor doesn't only attract friends.

    Will I quit? No. I just need to tame and focus that vague ambition into something workable and constructive.



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